09/03/2024 - Secrets of the Kuril Islands
The Kuril islands are a set of disputed islands just north of Japan. While Russia currently occupies them, Japan believes them to be theirs. I did not care about the islands in any capacity until I was invited down there for a holiday. Sun, sand and sea was guaranteed and a good time was promised. What actually ended up happening was far more insane than I could have imagined.
Hideo – a close workmate at my job – was the catalyst for adventure. It was him who invited me and a few others to one of the islands. When he promised adventure in an unusual location, I raised my eyebrow. When he showed me the photographs of a white beach lined with gorgeous white cliffs, I was hooked. Hideo was one person who could read me like an open book. He knew exactly how to appeal to me and that stemmed from him having similar interests in natural beauty and locations.
Minako was a timid girl who's special skill was staying out of the limelight no matter the situation. Even when you spotted her out and about, you could never speak to her; she would shrink into one of her many hoodies if she spotted someone she knew, Even if someone she didn't know stared at her, she would duck down backstage. She was the next person to be invited after me as Hideo thought that she had been left out of every major work related get-together. While I thought that Minako only accepted out of overwhelming social pressure, she surprised me by getting more and more excited as the trip drew near. Maybe Hideo had a gift for reading people after all.
Shinji was the third to be invited. He was so much of an airhead that it took Hideo multiple tries to get his attention and about as many times to get him to agree to go with us. I don't think anybody truly knew what was ever going in his head. Sometimes I'd wager that he himself didn't know what was going on.
Itsuno was the last to join us. Cool, calm and collected, he was the man to rely on during any crisis at work. He was hesitant to join at first. When Hideo asked if he would come along, Itsuno scanned the room many times as if he was looking for an escape. Once Hideo pointed out that he hadn't gone on holiday for a long time, Itsuno agreed to go. Something told me that Hideo brought him along just so that he'd be able to manage everything just in case something went wrong on the trip.
With our band of travellers assembled, we were ready to depart. Everyone except Shinji was expected to bring at least something critical for our camping trip and, when we all assembled, we were all raring to go.
Of course when going to another island, one needs a boat in order to get there, so we had to go and rent one. Hideo had already gone up and organised that, so, while he went to sort out the boat situation, that left us with some time to kill. We all started to wander about for a bit. I didn't wander too far. I just went out to the edge of the harbour and I stared out to sea. Everything was so serene at that point. The gentle rocking of the waves, the squawking of the birds and the clangings and rumblings of the harbour painted a relaxing landscape devoid of the hustle and bustle of the city. Even though noise rang out from all corners, nothing was overwhelming. At that moment, time stood still for me. I didn't want this moment to end. Then a new noise disturbed the stillness. I turned my head and time felt like it resumed once more. Someone was trying to get my attention.
It was a fisherman with a gruff build. Despite the fact that his face resembled a brick more than a face, his face gave off a gentle warmth that could disarm a raging bull. He asked if I was alright before sitting down next to me. "It's nice, isn't it?" he asked. I nodded. His voice was much like his face. "You're from the city, right?" Once again I nodded. "Knew it. I was much like you when I first got here. Never thought I'd find a place that was more my speed before I landed here. It was the old missus who dragged me down here. She wanted a holiday and she chose here and our holiday became permanent. Haven't looked back since. A lot of people say that you shouldn't listen to your wife but listening to her that one time was the best decision I ever made." A heavy sigh then followed. "It's not perfect, but it's alright." His eyes drifted from me to the horizon. The smile on his face slowly melted into sorrow. Then his eyes followed suit. The bright sunbeams that radiated off his face disappeared behind an eclipse of melancholy.
Sensing the overwhelming emotions radiating from him, I told him that I was planning on going out to sea. He looked straight at me with that forlorn expression that I hoped to vanquish. "That's the same thing my little boy told me," he said. "He really looked up to me. Wanted to follow in my footsteps. Took him out on the waters a few times but something changed in him on one trip. It was as if my boy wasn't my boy any more. Then one night, he went out onto the ocean. I tried calling for him, but it was no use. Haven't seen him again. Maybe one day he'll become his old self again and return. Until that day comes, I'll be waiting for him." A bright speck trickled down his face and he whipped around to face the ocean. He sniffed, then wiped his eyes before turning to face me once again. A fraction of the warmth returned to his face; his smile was crooked and his eyes were filled with a sorrow that could not be fixed. "Anyway, thanks for giving an old man an ear. If you do plan on travelling the sea just like my boy did, take care. There's nothing but danger across those waves." Within moments, Hideo was yelling across the harbour. Our boat had been sorted and our trip was set to begin in earnest.
There was not much to be said about our little trip. The little outboard motor chugged along and provided much needed thrust. Hideo took the controls and guided us across the waves. Itsuno was busy guiding him along, cautioning him whenever the boat was likely to capsize. Minako and Shinji would cast their hands into the waves whenever the idea struck their fancy. I was just happy to look out on the horizon, watching as the islands came closer and closer into view. They faded in from a light blue haze into full colour like a distant memory coming back into focus. Then we had to settle on a landing point. All the coasts looked like great places to stop, but then Shinji woke up for a moment and pointed to a gentle beach with white cliffs. We were all a bit taken aback by his sudden decision to make a decision on something. He just smiled and shrugged. "It looks nice," he stated.
We found a small gap in the cliffs where we could get up and out of the beach and away from the high tide. The climb was steep, but the view was more than worth it. Despite Hideo calling for the tent to be set up, he could not make heads or tails of the instructions. Itsuno was left with the duty of coordinating everything, making sure that the tent was set up perfectly. Ever the perfectionist, Itsuno went inside to make sure that every part of the tent would be satisfactory. Fingers were crossed as everyone was praying that we would not have to set up the tent once again. Once he came out with that stern expression, my hopes started careening off the cliffs. That's when he flashed a smile and threw up a thumbs up. Just like that, my heart came climbing back up the cliffside and back into my body. High fives were shared by all and we got ready to enjoy the rest of the day.
Hideo and the others quickly dashed down to the beach, meanwhile I stayed up on the cliffside with Minako. The two of us looked down along the beach at the immense length of the cliffs and how the huge gaps in between them made the greenery on the top look like rolling hills. I could not stop myself from marvelling at the raw natural beauty on display and, once again, I found myself wishing that time would stop dead in its tracks. "Now I know why you like to be away from the city so much," Minako mumbled. "It's nice here." I nodded. "If you ever want to go away to the country again, let me know. I would love to do this again sometime soon." For the first time ever, I noticed a genuine smile creep onto her face. She lifted herself from her hunchback and sat up straight. I had never seen her like this before. I doubted that anyone else at the workplace had seen her come out of her shell like this. When darkness started to fall and the others came back from the seaside, I spoke nothing of this moment to them. It would be our little secret, I thought.
As night fell, we were all crammed inside the tent. The small lamp that we got bathed everything in a golden light that warmed up everything despite the dropping temperatures and the fact that we were not in our sleeping bags. As we all laughed and joked, I found myself zoning out from the conversation. There was something else to be seen at this time. I picked myself up and left the tent. I could hear the others confused and questioning what I was up to, but I had to see it with my own eyes.
The night sky was adorned with tens of thousands of stars, more than I had ever seen before. Each of them were hundreds of thousands of miles away, yet their light somehow reached Earth. The sight alone took my breath away and the thought that the cosmos was so big and awe inspiring made me crumble to the floor. "Hey buddy," Hideo said as he pulled himself out of the tent, "what's up?" I continued to stare at the stars in silence, admiring each and every individual one. "Ah," Hideo mumbled. "That's what's up." Then I heard Hideo go back inside and soon, everyone else had come out. Gasps of amazement and awe followed from each and every one of them. I don't know how long we found ourselves staring up at the night sky, but I do know that a cold breeze came through and sent a shiver down my spine. We all then made our way back inside. As I lay in my sleeping bag, slowly warming up, I wished that the tent had a window so I could drift away with the stars. I had to settle with a memory instead.
From the moment that I got up the next day, that moment of bliss began to turn into a day I wanted to forget. I woke up to the sounds of alarm and panic. Shinji was missing. Hearing those words come from everyone's mouth, I sprung up and scanned every sleeping bag. Nobody was around. When I got out, I was interrogated by Itsuno. He asked me every question in the book, but I was of no help. I could only give the answers that everyone else had given him. Then he kicked the ground in a brief fit of rage, sending a cloud of sediment flying off the cliff. I had never seen him do such a thing before, even at work when things were at a crisis point. It was as if he was someone else for a moment. I was compelled to ask him if he was alright, but Hideo's voice interrupted my thoughts before they could become words. He had found a set of tracks that led down to the beach. They followed a route which none of us had used before. Itsuno then dangled some rope off the face of the cliff, gathered up a few supplies from the tent before calling all of us together and sending us down the trail.
The natural landscape scrolled on by as we proceeded along the beach, following the footsteps like a hunter. There was one thing that I noticed about those footsteps that we were following and that was they were straight, laser focused and unwavering. Whoever left those footsteps was walking with a clear goal or purpose in mind. This wasn't like Shinji, I thought. Whenever he walked, he would spin on the spot, stop abruptly for seemingly no reason and occasionally drift from side to side. Something was telling me that these were not his footsteps, but they were the only lead we had. The longer they went on, the more concerned we all grew. We had to follow them.
Hopelessness started to settle in once we realised that we had been following them for a long time. The sun had risen to its highest point as our trek continued and our hopes of finding him began to dry up faster than a teardrop in a desert. Suddenly Hideo stopped. "Maybe we should turn back," he said. "Maybe he'll come back of his own accord." In a flash, Itsuno flared up with an anger far more intense than what had come before. He raised his hand high up and I was preparing to hear the slap that would ring out for miles, but it never came. Instead his hand came down slowly, trembling all the way. It was obvious to us all that, even though we were all surprised by Itsuno's actions, he was shaken to his core by them. "Are you alright?" Minako asked. Itsuno did not respond. He just stared at his hand as if it was rotting away. "I must be out of my element or something," Itsuno mumbled. "Shinji's not that far. Let's keep looking." Everyone nodded in unison and we kept on following those footsteps which ran parallel to the cliffs, cutting the beach in two almost perfectly.
That near perfection came to a halt when they suddenly turned towards the cliffs. The break from the monotony of following the linear path was enough to restore all our hopes even though it really should not have; we hadn't found anything that said he was near or that he was alive, safe and well. Itsuno seemed convinced that Shinji was nearby which puzzled me for reasons that I could not understand at the time. When I asked him why, he told me that he could feel it.
Our trek came to a close when we encountered a concrete hatch buried between one of the cliffs. There were no markings on it, no signs and nothing could be seen when I peered down it. The light may have been shining into it, but nothing was being reflected back, as if the depths were eating the light. This was a darkness that I had not seen in a long, long time. The only thing I could make out was a bright red ladder that eventually was consumed by the dark descent. "He went down there," Itsuno stated. "We've got to retrieve him."
Hideo swung his head from side to side. "No way we're going down there!" He exclaimed.
Itsuno's anger flared up once again, only this time there was no stopping him. He grabbed Hideo by his shirt and pulled him up to his face. "He's down there," Itsuno said. His voice was stern and direct, like some kind of military officer. "He's down there and we're all going to retrieve him. Got it?" Hideo gave no answer. "Good," Itsuno continued. Then he dropped Hideo to the ground.
Minako took centre stage by pushing Itsuno to the sidelines. "What the hell's gotten into you?!" She yelled. Then she clasped her mouth shut. Itsuno's eyes were open so wide that his irises were completely separated from his eyelids. His hand reached out to her, but then it fell down by his side. "I-I'm sorry," she whispered. "I don't know what came over me." She then shrunk back into her hoodie and her eyes locked onto the floor once more.
Things started returning to normal once Itsuno started handing us all torches. They were all attached onto lanyards and, according to him, they were all fully charged. With that done, the next step was to begin the search inside the darkness. Only problem was nobody wanted to go in. We were all just either staring into the dark hole or looking at each other, hoping someone would budge and start the trek into darkness. Eventually Itsuno began the short but heavy trek to the darkness. I asked him if he was sure and he replied that he was certain; someone had to break the stalemate and he was used to being in charge. He got on the ladder and he descended into the darkness. The rest of us looked on as he disappeared from view. Once he did, we all started looking at each other once again. Hideo then started towards the ladder and he began his descent. Much like before, he too was swallowed up by the pitch black hole. I then started making my way to the hatch, but then Minako tugged at my hand. "I don't want to be alone," she whimpered. "Can I go down first?" I nodded and she went down ever so slowly. Her eyes latched onto mine and they didn't let go. When her body started getting swallowed up by the darkness, she started breathing heavily. Sweat started to pour down her brow "Can you come down with me, please?" She weakly asked. Before I went down, I took one last look at the white cliffs that surrounded us, at the sea that glided across the sands and at the footsteps that had led us here. I had the strangest feeling that I might never see the surface ever again.
Touching down on ground level was nerve wracking as it was dangerous. None of us could see anything without those torches, not even the ladder that we held onto for dear life. The torches helped, but only somewhat as they could only cut thin beams of white through the black void. A shriek or a yelp would come out from beneath me every time one of the others either lost their footing or wobbled a little bit. Things improved once Itsuno announced that he had reached the bottom. Now he was able to shine the torch upward, illuminating the ladder and calming our nerves. Then we all reached the ground and swung our torches around.
We all sliced through the darkness to see a huge metal door left open in front of us. Above it were strange letters and above that were a couple of pegs that probably held something up years ago. Whatever hung off them had long been lost to time. Isamu then asked if everyone was alright and we all nodded before announcing that we were to go inside this strange place. The thought that Shinji was alone and stuck in here kept our fears from truly surfacing. We pressed on with no thoughts spared for the danger that we could be putting ourselves through.
The first thing we passed by was some kind of reception. A thick sheet of glass with a plastic device embedded in the middle was all that stood between us and the doorway on the other side. Much like the prior door, it was left open, almost inviting us in. While Itsuno peered through the open doorway, I pressed my face up to the glass to see if I could see anything. I could. On the other side of the glass was a scene of pandemonium; all of the furniture was upturned, the lockers had been completely raided and papers were strewn all over the place. All of it was slathered in a thick layer of dust. While it was extremely unlikely that Shinji was there, I was compelled to take a closer look at the scene.
Itsuno peered down the doorway, swiping his torch across the concrete walls. "These hallways feel like they go on forever," he mumbled as his torch failed to reach the end of the corridors that surrounded us. When I pulled my head away from the glass, I was inclined to agree. Solid concrete walls that stretched into eternal darkness and small carvings for doorways were all that we could see. Then I spun around to see the door to the room behind the glass. Without any prompt, I decided to open it.
"Did you hear that?" Hideo asked. I paid him no mind as I looked upon the mess. Immediately I made a rush for the desk that sat in front of the glass. Maybe some answers as to what had happened would be there. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. I brushed some dust off a book, only to be greeted by more of the strange symbols that rested atop the door. It was some kind of written script, that much was certain to me now. The last page was of particular note as it had been underlined very harshly, to the point that the pages beneath had grooves etched in them. I took the book and then looked over to a corner of the room, a corner hidden from the glass window's view. I jumped as soon as the sight stained my vision. A skeleton dressed in the remains of a uniform of some kind sat in the corner, its skull sporting two holes. In its hand lay a pistol. A tsunami of unease crashed into me simultaneously telling me to grab the pistol and to leave as soon as possible. I did the first part, but the second part was much, much tougher.
Hideo was the first person to greet me as I came out. When I shone the torch at him, he had lost all the colour of his skin to the point that his skin rivalled paper in pure whiteness. He quickly told me that Itsuno and Minako had advanced onwards together into the darkness. I started to leave after them, but then Hideo stopped me for a moment. "We're not alone in here," he said, his voice quivering with every syllable.
I felt the concrete walls getting closer and closer the further we walked through them. Brushing the light against the walls mitigated the sensation, but it quickly returned once the torches were focused in front of us. There were more of those strange letters around the place, but many appeared to have faded with the passage of time. Then we got to a larger room, some kind of communal space with tables and chairs aplenty. Much like in the receptionist area, everything was scattered haphazardly. "Where did you wander off to?" Itsuno asked. I held up the book I picked up and Itsuno scoffed. "You picked up a book you cannot read? Why?" I didn't have an answer, so I remained silent.
Minako meanwhile slipped around me and pulled the book from between my fingers. Her eyes scrolled across the letters on the page as if she could actually read it. Then she got over to the underlined section. "None shall enter, none shall leave," she murmured. "That's what it says." Bewildered and confused, I asked when she learned to read these letters. She just stared back with this blank expression like she had just vacated her own mind. Before she could say anything, we all heard the sound of something walking. Everyone hushed, except for Itsuno. He kept on yelling down the corridor, asking if Shinji was down there. Then we heard the sound speed up. With every step, it got louder and louder until we could hear the whirring of machinery. Every fibre of my being was screaming out that danger was fast approaching. My arms raised my pistol to where the noise was coming from. Then it came.
None of us had a hope of seeing it coming. It just ran through our beams of light, straight at Itsuno. Then he let out a blood curdling scream that made my skin crawl with dread. Panic enveloped everything soon after: Itsuno's yell was followed by Minako's scream, which in turn was followed by Hideo howling. All I could do was freeze in terror, pointing my pistol into the darkness where I thought the thing and Itsuno were. Then I felt something brush past me from the front. That was enough to get me out of my stupor. Minako's screams then turned into sobs as her torch illuminated his bloodied body. More worryingly, they illuminated what had done the act. I don't even remember giving myself the order to pull the trigger. Everything was a reflex from that point on. I wasn't sure as to how many times I pulled it, but I stopped when the thing fell lifeless to the ground.
Everything fell silent. The gunshots faded away down the hallways into nothingness. Both me and Minako dared not utter a word and the thing lay motionless alongside Itsuno. This state continued until I pulled the pistol down and my torch up to investigate just what had happened. I wish I didn't. Itsuno's body had been thoroughly eviscerated. Every inch of his body was stained with blood. His pained expression had been preserved in his death.
"Oh my god," Minako gasped. Then my attention turned to the thing that had attacked him. When I saw the human face, I thought it had to be some deranged person, but then I kept on scanning the corpse with my torch and I found metallic parts where the limbs should be. Both arms had been replaced with metal blades and both of them were covered in Itsuno's blood. All I could do is ask what the hell happened here?
"Hideo's disappeared," Minako noted. Then her eyes widened. At first I thought she was looking at the remains of Itsuno or the corpse, but she was instead looking at my hand. "When did you get that?" she asked. Then I raised the pistol, asking her if that's what she meant by that. She nodded. "How many bullets do you have left?" I shrugged. "Then check." Within seconds I found myself struggling to find out how. I knew that the gun had a magazine, but I did not know how to release it. Minako's frustration flared up as I fiddled with the weapon until it boiled over. She snatched the gun away from me and showed me exactly how to operate the thing.
Something was bothering me though. She was combing over every feature of that gun as if she knew it from a long time ago. Not only that, but she could read the strange runes that littered the place. When she handed the pistol back to me, I pressed her on the matter, asking her when she learned both of these things. She froze for a moment. "A long time ago," she said. Her voice fell quiet as she left centre stage and retreated back into her hoodie. "I can't remember when, but it was a long time ago… I think." Another scream then rang out. I turned around and my heart sank a little. It sounded like Hideo. Then Minako grabbed my hand. "Let's get out of here." With that we ventured further in.
First I thought she just ran through the facility on instinct. We ran through the cold, dank hallways without any real care besides getting away from that fatal scream. But then, when we started barging into all the rooms, the idea that everything was running on instinct was getting chipped away. Rooms that housed beds, food or recreational activities were quickly scanned through and left alone. The only room we stopped in was one with a bunch of lockers in varying states of disrepair. "Everything's been picked clean," she mumbled as she started rummaging through all the destroyed lockers. I looked around to see rifles slashed into pieces and masses of bones and tattered clothing clinging to them. The desks and lockers were almost all torn asunder and left caked in dust. Minako kept on rummaging through everything, desperate to find something. I had to ask her what we were doing here. "We're here for this," she said, throwing me a pistol magazine. "Everything else here is broken so that pistol's all we got."
I didn't catch it. It slammed into my chest before clattering down to the ground. Her face screwed up in an instant. "Quit playing games!" She yelled. "This is a matter of life and death!" I took a deep breath before asking her how she knew this room, of all the rooms that we went through, would have weapons and bullets inside. "It's the armoury," she replied confidently. "Isn't it obvious that there would be stuff like this inside?" I still wasn't satisfied. I asked her how she knew that this place was the armoury. After all, it could have been a changing room with how the dust effectively smothered any and all fine details. After a long time of watching her fiddle about with her hands, stare off into nothingness and fidget on the spot, she gave me her answer. "I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?" I asked back.
"Exactly what I said!" she screamed. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know! I really don't know!" I took a step back as she clutched her head. "It's like I remember this place, but I've never been here before. Or have I…" Her speech trailed off and I was tempted to resume the interrogation, but I relented. A hunch in the back of my mind was telling me to not pursue the line of questioning and to instead pick up the magazine and prepare to leave. As I reached down to pick it up, I recapped that Shinji and Hideo were now missing and that we had a choice to make. We could either search for them or leave immediately. There was a long silence that followed. I could see her face shifting like the sea as she ran through the emotions that clogged her mind. Eventually her face settled on a stone faced glare. "We won't let Itsuno's death be in vain," she stated. "We'll find the two of them." I asked if she was sure and she nodded. I raised my gun and we continued our journey.
Fragments of the life that once filled these cold hallways flashed between our torches. We went by dormitories which had been toppled and turned into makeshift barricades, of which all of them had been wrecked to some extent, to officer's quarters stacked with personal effects. One of them caught Minako's attention like nothing else. She took off straight into it and brushed things aside with reckless abandon. Then she opened a drawer and pulled out a small toy teddy bear. "He kept it after all," she mumbled to herself. "I wonder where he is now…" Then she started pulling on her hair.
Once again, my mind found itself demanding that I continue interrogating her about just exactly what was going on. I fought the urge to question her about anything specific and I asked what was going on. "I don't know who I am any more," she whimpered. "I remember things that never happened and things that I know I did are slowly vanishing from my mind!" In a flash, she reached out and grabbed me and I was taken aback so much that I dropped the pistol. "I remember your face, but I don't remember how I know it!"
I tried telling her that I was her workmate at a café, but she shook her head violently. "Did I work at a café?" I nodded. "But when did I do that?!" Her distress started manifesting as tears on her face. "I know we're looking for Shinji and Hideo, but I don't know how I know those two! I can see their faces in my mind, but I've never worked with them before, so why do I know them?!" At that point I asked her what was going on, but then she picked up the pistol and aimed it straight at me.
"Don't come any closer!" she screamed. Nothing could have prepared me for what was unfolding before my eyes. My mouth hung agape and I raised my hands without saying a word. "Daisuke, what's happening to me?!" I remained silent, unsure as to how to answer. "Answer me!" Then I told her that I didn't know. "Why do I remember this place?! I've never been here before in my life, but I remember it because I lived here! The government took me here! The allies are coming! But that's long gone! But I can hear them talking on the radio about it! Will this place be shut down?! Why do I feel so alone?! Why, why, why?!" She let out a cry that shook the entire complex. "I don't want to be alone again!" Then she scrambled up to my face. There wasn't a shred of the Minako I once knew. The figure may have borne her face, but it was now just a confused, crying mess. "I know you, but I can't recall where from now! Help me! Please!" I didn't know what to do, so I went in for a hug. She hugged back with all her might. "Don't leave me, mister! Don't take me away! Stay with me! I don't want to be alone! Leave me alone! I want to be with my friends again! What's happening to me?! Who am I?!" There was one final scream before one of her hands slipped away from my embrace. Before I could even fathom what was happening, it had already played out.
A loud bang rang out and Minako fell silent. A warm liquid started running down my shoulders and her grip loosened immediately. She went limp quickly and I found myself holding a body which wouldn't grip back. The gun clattered to the ground as drips echoed around the room. As I lay her down, I needed no confirmation as to what had happened. I didn't even want to lay eyes on her body. I picked up the pistol and left.
Stuck in the dark corridor with nobody around, I fell to the floor. The cold air stabbed my skin while the memories of my now dead friends racked my brain. My mind then drifted to our initial objective of finding Shinji and how things had spiralled out of control; Itsuno was dead, Minako was too and Shinji and Hideo had gone missing without a trace. It would be better to presume them dead and get out, I thought.
That was until I heard something approaching. The familiar metal clunking that should have forewarned me of Itsuno's approaching demise had returned to my ears. I ducked back inside the room and I held my breath. I saw a light cut through the darkness and I immediately shut off my torch. Then it illuminated everything. The beam of light scoured the room briefly before resting on Minako's body. "Target eliminated," it said. My eyes widened when I heard that voice. It was Hideo's voice. When he turned around and started making his way back, I got out and called for him. I wish I hadn't.
He looked like he'd been taken over by some machine. Bits of electronics clung to his flesh and his legs were gone, replaced by some mechanical contraption that looked like legs. I looked into his vacant eyes and blank expression with terror as there was nothing resembling the Hideo that I once knew. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he slowly pulled up a rifle.
"Hideo," I began, "Is that really you?"
"Enemy spotted," he dryly stated, the rifle climbing ever higher with every passing second. The tears wouldn't stop coming down, but still his arms continued to lift the weapon. I did the same with my pistol. When his gun was lined up with my face, my gun was lined up with his. I asked if he could remember me and, if he could, to lower the weapon so that we could get out of here. "Shoot me," Hideo whispered. A chill shot up my spine when I heard those words. More tears rolled down his face, leaving pink stains from the blood that oozed from the mechanical compartments glued to his head. "Please. I'll kill you if you don't." he pulled back on the bolt. "Intruders will be executed."
Despite the danger present, I could not do it. Memories of happier times flooded into my head and I could not stop the tears from flowing. We had known each other for over a year now, laughing and joking at work for so long and now here we were, pointing weapons at each other. I did not want to be the one to bring those memories to an abrupt end. I did not want to kill him. Once again I demanded he put down the rifle, but that glare of his never went away. I yelled at him, no, screamed at him to do so, but he never did. Instead there was a white flash and a loud bang. I could not control myself. The moment those things happened, I pulled the trigger.
Blood splattered across the walls in an instant. The two of us stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, watching and waiting for what the next person would do. Then blood started spewing from Hideo's body. Then he collapsed to the ground. I ran over to check his wounds. Sadness overwhelmed my heart when I ran my finger over the hole in his body. "You can't get out," Hideo coughed. "I tried. There's no escape. Voices in my head… orders from within… It'll get you too…" I asked him what he was talking about, but he soon expired on the ground, leaving me alone with his words which only inspired despair.
Then I started hearing the voices whispering in the back of my mind. I spun around trying to find the source, but I could not. They all came from behind me, as if the voice was bolted to the back of my skull. This would be the end, I thought. Then I sat down on the ground, staining my trousers with Hideo's blood. My fate was to become like Hideo, a mechanical monstrosity doomed to skulk these cold concrete caverns for the rest of my days. Or I could go out and end it all before that happened. I gripped the pistol ever tighter. I could end the nightmare before it took over my skull. I could already hear the voices, so the end would come for me any which way, so why not? For the first time in my life, I genuinely considered killing myself. The only thing stopping me was another voice in the back of my skull.
It was feminine and it sounded weak. I would only hear it rarely, but it was the only one I could make out at first. "Help me," it repeated. I looked behind where I came from, and then I looked further into the darkness. Hideo had mentioned that there was no escape and thus I cast away the thought of trying to leave. If there was any way of getting out of here alive, I thought, it would be to go further in and silence the voices. I took Hideo's rifle for myself and I continued my journey.
Gradually the areas around me began to shift and change. Concrete walls gave way to harsh mechanical constructs which appeared to have organic shapes. The walls pulsated with life while the grated floor reverberated my metallic marching into a darkness that my torch could not penetrate. Everything felt so alien and strange, yet simultaneously so familiar. Memories of a budding research institute came flooding into my head, memories from a life I had not lived. I walked into a room and, for just a moment, I saw a somewhat desperate visual of men in Imperial Japanese uniforms staring each other down with dour expressions. All of them were staring at a map.
Reality came back in a flash. The table from the memories was still present, but the scenery and the officers were gone. Instead there were just the metallic, breathing walls and the floor which stretched down to eternity. I checked the map closely and found out that it detailed the advancing allied forces on their way to Japan. There were more documents strewn about and I found myself compelled to read them. Many of them were simple telegrams about supplies and the war effort, but one really caught my attention.
It detailed the grim reality of the war effort, the fact that they were on the back front and also the need for a true superweapon to change the scope of the war. That weapon would be the use of so-called gifted people, people who were documented to have psionic abilities and who could influence the world around them. They were to have their talents weaponised and brought to this facility where they would impose their wills on the battlefield. Trials had already been conducted on the mainland that showed that psychics could not only improve the fighting will and tactics of soldiers, but also completely destroy the will of another and command them to take their own lives.
One psychic of particular note was a girl, Youko, who was rumoured to be able to manipulate reality to such an extent that people who spent a significant amount of time around her considered her to be cursed. Things would move seemingly without reason and people would be imbued with memories which they never experienced. She had been tested for psychic abilities and, once verified, immediately put to work, hoping to stall the allied advances in Iwo Jima.
There were some problems with getting her to work however. First of which was that she could read and influence minds. Soldiers in the base would start to remember things which had never happened to them and others were having their will overwritten so that they would treat her better. This problem was solved by locking her in a thick concrete room by herself. The second problem was that she was far too nice of a person to do any major damage in the early stages of the battle, so a subliminal messaging device was developed and employed to change her thoughts. The device worked and she had a notable effect in the battle. Allied servicemen were documented as having shot themselves en masse at one point and planes started falling out of the sky for no discernable reason. Intercepted transmission from both Japanese forces and allied commanders confirmed that these events were happening on the battlefield. While the results were minor in the grand scheme of things, the researchers strongly believed that, if given enough time and resources, they could field a battalion of psychic soldiers who could kill allied servicemen with little to no direct threats.
Further psychic attacks were launched, but their effectiveness remained stymied by the fact that they only had one truly useful psychic who could do their bidding. More search parties were sent out to the mainland to hunt for more psychics, but eventually the funds started getting diverted to more conventional. The allies continued to advance and, in the coming months, there was talk of the allies invading their island. To add to their misery, Youko was starting to become scared and frightened and nobody knew why. Those who came close to her were suddenly bombarded by nightmarish visuals. Eventually visits to her were restricted to such an extent that she basically lived alone in the psychic weapons room. Then came the order to abandon the base. Everyone was set to go, except for Youko who was set to be left behind due to the danger that she posed to others. She was given one final order: to preserve herself for their eventual return and to eliminate all intruders. All documentation stopped after that order.
Pulling myself away from those documents, I realised what I had to do. I slung my rifle back over my shoulder and began to advance into the furthest depths of the compound.
I could feel the pulse, the heartbeat of the walls and floors all around me. The voices in the back of my head were slowly getting louder and louder and the feminine voice was slowly getting drowned out. The slow need to get a move on was starting to gnaw at my psyche and I was starting to feel a strange sensation throughout my body, as if my limbs were being gently pulled on by strings. Time was of the essence and I started to run through the facility. My sense of direction was slowly being eroded as my memories of running through the base were slowly being replaced by new ones, ones in which I saw a bunch of Soviet troops wandering the facility, tearing down the Imperial Japanese iconography and planting Soviet replacements up. As soon as it began, it was over. An entire moment of time, condensed into what felt like a second. A memory of a life I hadn't lived. But, in that memory, I saw a bright white light coming from a doorway. Before I could even make sense of what was happening, a gunshot pulled me out of those implanted memories.
"I know what you're trying to do," Shinji told me, "and I won't let that happen." I swung my torch over to him, only to see a Shinji far removed from what I knew. His face was entirely covered in metal, save for his eyeballs and lower jaw. He didn't have a rifle on him. His entire arm had become one mangled mess of firearm, flesh and metal. "I will follow my orders until the bitter end." I was so stunned that I could only hold my mouth agape. He refused to elaborate when I aksed him about his orders. Instead he instead fired at me. Then he fired again, and again and again. I was forced to duck behind the various living metal constructs that littered the room. I pleaded with Shinji to snap out of it, yet my words fell on deaf ears. "Intruders are to be eliminated," he stated.
The pain that I felt from my wound vanished in seconds. Adrenaline took over and I knew what I had to do. The gunfight that ensued was long, bitter and it filled me with complete and utter sadness. Every bullet he sent my way sent my pulse skyrocketing to the point where it became the only thing I could hear. Death was just around the corner every time I saw that muzzle flash, heard that gunfire and felt the wind of the projectile zip right by me. As the battle drew on longer and longer, my rifle ran out of bullets. I threw it to the ground and swapped to my pistol, determined not to lose, determined to triumph and determined to end the nightmare once and for all. I got up and I started shooting. I kept on shooting and shooting and shooting, watching each and every bullet crash into Shinji's body. Blood started pouring out from each of his wounds and eventually he fell to his knee. Then I had to swap magazines. At that moment, as my hands trembled from the excitement and fear, I told Shinji to give up. That was a huge mistake. Those words seemed to reinvigorate him; he stood back up and raised his arm one more time. The blood was still flowing down into the abyss, but he did not care. He would follow the bushido code until the bitter end, just like the soldiers of the time period. Then he screamed. I could hear his footsteps rapidly approaching. Overwhelmed by fear and overtaken by my body's instincts, I got up, screamed and I pointed my pistol straight at Shinji. I pulled the trigger faster than he could.
Shinji's stomping came to a sudden end. He fell down flat on his face like a house of cards blown in the wind. His screeches of pain bounced around the hallways and descended into the great abyss below. There was no more harm he could do, but there was one more thing I could do. I walked over to his writing body and I pointed my pistol straight at his head. I apologised to him as I prepared to deliver a coup de grace, but he smiled back at me instead. "Do it," he croaked. Then he coughed up some blood onto my shoes. "End my misery." It took a while of trying to get over myself, but eventually, once I heard him groan in total pain, I obeyed that order. I wiped the tears from my eyes and made my way to the absolute end of the complex, to the white room which Shinji was guarding, to where the end of the nightmare lay.
Unlike every other room which was shrouded in complete and utter darkness, the final room was relatively brightly lit. I could see everything, even though there wasn't much to see. There was a girl on a bed surrounded by a large contraption. The voice in the back of my head, the feminine one was so loud that it was maddening, but more concerning was the mass of voices that was simply background noise had now become discernible. I could hear the cracking voice of a stern military officer barking orders. "Your orders are to preserve yourself to the best of your ability and await our return," it said. "In case you encounter enemy activity, you are to eliminate them under all circumstances. You are to accomplish this order until relieved of your duty. The future of Japan rests on your shoulders."
"Help me," the feminine voice demanded. The only problem was I didn't know how. I knew it had something to do with the machine, but I wasn't sure on how to turn it off and I could feel my arms slowly being pulled away as the military voice started echoing in my head louder and louder. I ran over the machine, scanning every inch of it until I found some cables attached to it. I tried to pull them out, but it was no use. They were stuck inside. Then I tried to pull the girl out, but she was strapped in tight and the strength in my arms was rapidly fading. My brain was sending orders for me to leave the room without my consent. When my foot started moving, I realised that I had no time to do anything and I had to bet everything on something I could do. I pointed my pistol at the machine and I shot it with every bullet I had. The machine sparked and fried as the bullets did their damage. Smoke soon seeped out from the holes inside. But the voices did not stop. They were still playing back in my head and I was now in a fight with myself to stay in that room.
That girl had to wake up. Somehow I had to do it. I started screaming at her to wake up as I forced myself to the bedside. I yelled absolutely everything I could think of, yet she refused to move. Then I moved over to her and I tried to yank her out of the machine. While that worked now that the machine was off, nothing had changed. The voices were still sounding off and I was still fighting myself to stay inside. Things reached a desperate turning point when my leg moved on its own towards the exit. I had to exert all of my willpower just to move it back to where it once was, but that was the final straw. I knew I had no time left. I had to do something there and then or else my body would be lost and I would be a passenger in my own body for years on end, if not forever. Eternally kept alive, yet subservient to a force which would dominate my will. Doomed to look, but to never live. A moving vegetable. Sweat flowed from my face as those thoughts entered my mind.
I started running on nothing but instinct. A voice in my brain told me that the straps might be the answer, so I tried taking them off. Desperation caused me to fumble the straps so many times. At one point I turned around to try and reach for the exit and that sent my soul careening down to the abyss that lay beneath us. Once again, I put my entire heart, mind and soul into simply turning around. The voices got louder and louder, drowning out the feminine voice completely. They even got so loud that I could not hear my own thoughts. My very being was being completely subjugated. All I could do was one final action I felt, and it had to count. I reached out and touched her face.Suddenly everything changed. I wasn't myself any more.
I am in a village far away from the city. I can hear people thinking I am a bad omen. I can hear them say things that they weren't saying with their mouths. They say that foul beasts stalk where I live. None of the kids wanted to play with me. I was alone.
I was in school. I can hear the other students whispering among themselves, spreading rumours about me saying that I am dangerous and that strange phenomena follow me wherever I go. I see friends leave me for others. I am alone. Army men came over. They give me face down cards and tell me to announce what cards had been placed face down. I get it right every time. They took me away in a van. Nobody else was there. I am alone.
I am in a secret underground facility devoted to psionics research. I am kept at arm's length from everyone. I wanted to talk with other people, but that was forbidden. I am dangerous. I got a visitor. He talked to me. He tells me there are forces from a place called the United States and they do not like him, me or anyone else. They want to kill everyone and subjugate the world. I am ordered to kill them. I can hear new voices from another land. They speak another language. I can see them armed with weapons. They are all very scared, yet they continue to advance regardless. Something about the whole situation makes me feel very sad. My sadness was amplified by the fact that I could not talk to them. I am doomed to see, but not interact. Everything feels as if I'm looking through a window at the rest of the world. In the end, I could not kill them.
I got another visitor. This visitor did not talk to me. He talked to a machine instead. I was asked to rest and I did. The machine then talks to me. It never stops. It keeps on talking until I can no longer muster up the energy to think for myself. It tells me there are forces from the United States and they do not like me or anyone else for that matter. They are on an island called Iwo Jima. I was told to kill them. I did. This keeps on happening. I don't like the voice. It doesn't talk to me, but rather it talks though me, dominating my mind. I hate it. I want to rest, but the orders do not stop. I hear them all the time. I am forced to obey.
The same visitor returns. The machine stopped talking when he fiddled with it. I could think again. The visitor is concerned. The United States is approaching Japan. He fears defeat is coming. I wanted to talk to him, but he got scared when I did. I haven't spoken to someone in days. I feel so alone. He spoke to the machine quickly and left. The machine then talked to me non stop. My thoughts disappeared into the aether. There are more allied positions to attack. I obeyed my orders.
The same visitor returned once again. He is still very scared of me. I don't think I will be making any friends here. I want to leave. Then he speaks into the machine. The machine speaks back to me. I am to preserve myself until they return and kill all intruders. I am confused. The visitor wanted to leave without returning, but I was asked to stay behind forever. I told him I did not want to be alone. He ignored me. He shut the heavy door and left me alone. I was alone.
Days became months. The machine continues to speak to me. New people arrive. They speak a new language that the other people from the United States did not speak. They have a flag of the Soviet Union and they are redecorating the place. Nothing is as it was. The machine still repeats its orders. They are intruders. They are to die. I start killing them. One of them opens the door. He has thoughts and feelings and I can see what he sees. Those thoughts of his do not exist any more. He dies.
I think years have gone by. All the outside voices are silent. The orders still come through, albeit they have been distorted. The voice crackles and is hard to decipher, but the command has been burned into my mind. It is the only thing I have heard for so long. I want to leave, but the orders still keep coming through. I used to age, but now I feel as if I am frozen in time. The orders stop me from ageing, they stop me from needing to eat and needing to drink. I miss those sensations. I do not know what time it is. I do not know what day it is. I do not know what month it is. I do not know what year it is. I want a friend. I do not want to be alone.
A visitor has arrived. I am so happy. Maybe he could be a friend? I want a friend so bad. I try to speak to him. He is in pain. My orders are to kill him, but I have forgotten how to. It has been so long since someone has come in. Maybe I can speak to him. When I try, he is in pain. His thoughts are evaporating. I can no longer hear him. He speaks just like the machine does. Why can't I have a friend? Why can't I stop being alone?
More visitors have arrived. Maybe they could be friends. I try to speak to one of them. I can speak to one of them. I tell him to help me. He arrives. He comes closer and closer, but his thoughts disappear. They are replaced by the thoughts of the machine. I am upset, but there are others. Maybe one of them can stop the machine.
They are inside. They are afraid, but unharmed. They are looking out for their friend, the one who is inside. I want to warn them of the dangers, but I cannot. I try to talk to the lady. She understands some new things, but not what I want to tell her. It is hard to talk with the machine talking to me. I cannot form a complex thought. One of the visitors is now dead. The machine has killed him. Another friend shoots the machine voice. It falls silent. They are all shocked. One of them runs off. I want him to stay. I try to speak to him, but the machine speaks to him first. I can no longer hear him.
The other two are scared, but confident. I try to talk more to the lady. She can understand me, but I am talking too loud. Her head echoes my thoughts now. I want to stop, but I cannot. She is distressed. She is asking her friend for help. He cannot. I cannot hear her any more. I think I killed her. Maybe I should not talk to people any more.
The last friend I can hear is still alive. He is talking to the machine. The machine falls silent. He is upset. The machine stops talking to him and one of his friends comes back. He falls silent quickly. He doubts himself. I do not want him to die. I try to talk to him. He can hear me. I can hear the machine talking to him too. I hope that he can talk to me before his head becomes like the machine.
Another voice of the machine encounters him. They fight. I do not want the last friend to die. He is concerned about his ammunition. He has the upper hand. He wants the machine to give up. The machine cannot. The last friend silences the machine. There is a great sadness in his heart. He's coming to me.
He's with me. The machine is with him too. It is hard to hear him. The machine is too loud. It is drowning him out. He is desperate to find a way to turn off the machine. He shoots it. It stops. The words are still burned into my mind. I cannot stop thinking about those words. He wants me to wake up. The machine is getting louder. It is controlling him. I cannot help him. He touches me. I feel his feelings of desperation. He is trying to talk to me. He is screaming at me. He wants me to wake up.
It was the strangest sensation I ever felt. It was as if I lived nearly a hundred years in just a few seconds. The voices were getting quieter. Then I looked down at the girl. I was cradling her in my arms like she was a baby. She woke up ever so slowly. Her hazel eyes glistened in the dim light. I was panting like a dog as I was struggling to catch my breath. Then I heard a voice in my head. "Hello mister," it began. "My name's Youko. What's yours?" I thought about how to answer her question, but that was all that was needed. "Daisuke, huh? That's a nice name. Will you be my friend?"
I looked down at her and her eyes had become puppylike. Whether she knew it or not, she was exerting an overwhelming pressure on me to think that the answer would be yes. Rather than give her what she wanted, I had one demand for her. "Ask me that with your real voice," I stated. "Speak to me."
She looked at me perplexed for a moment, but then she opened her mouth. "Will you be my friend?" I nodded. Her look of joy completely and utterly overwhelmed me. At that moment, she was like a child reunited with their parents. "Thank you" she said before embracing me with the tightest hug I had ever received. Then she started crying. She continued to repeat her thanks for over a minute, weeping all the way. Gradually her body went from ice cold to warm and comforting. It was nice. But all good things must come to an end. I broke the hug off and she was so upset when it happened that I was tempted to embrace her again, but I could not. We had to leave.
The hallways were nothing like they once were. The abyss that once stretched into nothingness was gone and so were the pulsating metallic walls. Both were replaced by the cold concrete walls and floors that lined the entranceway. I never thought I would be happy to see those things again, but there I was happy to be stuck under the ground and encased in concrete.
Getting up the ladder was the biggest relief of my life. I could feel the cool night air blowing through my hair. Sure it disrupted my vision, and it was always annoying, but it was such a huge relief to feel that sensation once again. For Youko, this sensation brought tears to her eyes. "I never thought I would feel this again," she whispered. Then I told her that there would be more sensations to feel again once we got back. But first, we had to sleep. I retraced my steps back to the tent and the two of us went inside to sleep.
Trying to sleep was a huge ordeal. I continuously had flashbacks to all my friends either dying before my eyes or being executed by my hand. Knowing that the tent was significantly emptier than when we started also weighed down on my mind. I could not sleep for ages. I just stared up into the roof of the tent with tears streaming down the side of my face. Then I felt Youko grab hold of me. I fell asleep sometime after that.
When I went back to Tokyo, Youkino maintained physical contact with me at nearly every point. Something told me that she thought I'd blow away with the wind if she didn't hold on. Despite the fact that she was back home, everything was completely different to what she remembered. She was like a child exploring the world for the first time. The first place she wanted to visit was her parent's home. I tried to warn her that it probably wasn't around, but she wouldn't listen. Her heart sank through the storm drain once we got to the address and a huge apartment complex was present where her family home once stood. "What happened?" she asked. I could only reply that times had changed.
Now I'm living with a psychic who lived through World War II. Every day she wants to do something new and explore somewhere cool. She's very much like a child in almost every aspect. I try to keep her happy, but it's tough to manage everything. I wonder if the feelings I feel now are the same ones my dad felt when he was raising me. It's not all good though, as I'm living with someone who can not only read my thoughts, but completely dominate my mind and alter the reality that we live in. The worst part is she's not even fully aware of it. Maybe I should tell her about it, maybe I should not, I don't know. And not knowing is one of mankind's greatest fears.